Feast of the Holy Family of Jesus, Mary, and Joseph

I recall someone once saying that images of the Holy Family are a little like some of the annual family-update letters, mailed to friends and extended family members, that can seem as though they only mention ‘good stuff’ from the past year, and ignoring the other stuff, such as: “Jeremy (now age 14) was kicked-out of his third school this year, but we trust that Oakmont Academy will be the right fit….Tiffany (age 17) was caught drinking under-age with her friends back in March and lost driving privileges and thus her job….Tucker (age 23) spends his time on the computer in his room with the door closed. He comes out for a bowl of cereal usually at about noon and sometimes talks to us….”

I get it—Who wants to write a letter about that? Well if cynicism tells us that those letters are not providing the whole story, perhaps the same could be said of images of the Holy Family. They always look so pious and peaceful, perhaps too saccharine sweet. Well, if the pious images don’t reveal it, like the Gospel we heard today, the Scriptures absolutely do.

It begs asking though: If God created the family with a purpose; to be the building-block of human society; to be the domestic church, a sanctuary of human relationships—why then, is it so often difficult and so often dysfunctional?

As St. Paul describes in his letter to the Romans, all the universe bears the effects of the fall, even as it awaits redemption, to be made right (8:20-22). When the fall in happened to the first-family in the Garden of Eden, all things in the universe, including the institution of family, came to bear its effects. Our task, through the graces we receive and our cooperation with them, is to redeem it all, to make it right.

I feel compelled to briefly mention three things that for many of us, relate to our experience of family. The first is ‘presumption’. We presume that our family members will put up with our ingratitude, our passive aggression, our yelling, our sarcasm, our veiled threats, and any other behaviors that tend to be destructive to relationships.

The reality is, we tend to treat our co-workers and fellow students with better care. Why? Mostly it’s presumption. We presume that they no choice but to put up with us. They’ve been patient and forgiving in the past, so they surely will be again. On behalf of your family members, don’t presume their love. Pray to be strong in these three domestic virtues: patience, kindness, and cooperation.

Second, just as following Jesus authentically therefore demands us to be different from those around us, so must our families be. In a culture that is seemingly okay with most anything, it can be very difficult for parents. We all want to fit-in, parents and children alike. And parents want their children to fit-in with their peers. There are so many pressures to be accepted by a society that doesn’t hold many of our values, and unfortunately too often, we’re willing to cheapen ourselves and even our children. We’ve actually had our parents complain to us about teaching their teenagers Catholic moral teaching related to sexuality! Parents and kids, trust in being what Christ calls us to, even if it’s different.

The third point I want to make is for those who are not yet married. Start praying for your future spouse, even if that person has yet to be revealed. Guys, pray for her! Ladies, pray for him! Also, aspire to be pure for that person. Know that the more you love God, the more the right person will be revealed, the more you’ll be equipped to be the right spouse.

Understand that while all sorts of people we know and love choose to cohabitate, statistics show that you’ll be better prepared for giving your life to that person if you don’t. Your wedding day and wedding night will be what God always planned for it to be. It’s not necessarily the easier way, but isn't that true with most things that are truly beneficial to us, including following Jesus?

There’s much more to be said about what makes for stronger as families and helps lead us to heaven. And I also realize that very likely, some of you bear wounds, associated with family life. Whether your family is stable and loving, or not, we ask God’s blessing to strengthen our families; to make them healthy and life-giving, and to help us to be healthy contributors to them; to heal us in whatever ways we need it, so that our healing can lead to forgiveness.

St. John Paul II once said, “As the family goes, so goes the nation, and so goes the whole world in which we live.” As a microcosm of society, the building-block upon which human society is built—if the institution of family is compromised, so will it be with human society (i). Let us call upon the Holy Family, to help us, to help our families:

Holy Family of Nazareth, by your intercession, love, and holy example, make our family and home more and more like Yours, until we are all one family, happy and at peace in our true home with You. Amen.